Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
