talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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