oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I got inside last night via doggy door
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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