Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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