Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
