Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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