ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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