well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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