now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
