this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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