It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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