dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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