nut hugger
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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