Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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