drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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