girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
