we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
