do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
