He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
