As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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