I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
