can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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