I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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