You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
