I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
