I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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