She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
