Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
