I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
