So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
