As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
