scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
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