yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
