On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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