evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
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