That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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