I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
