i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
