u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
