apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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