I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
