we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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