He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think I just sharted jello shots
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