she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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