Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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