I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
