so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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