One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
