I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i think im in europe. pls send help
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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