The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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