Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize