I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
