Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
