His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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